what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
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he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
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Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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