Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
