She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
