I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
