i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
