Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
