How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
try to milk me bitch
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