She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Congratulations! We have a period
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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