Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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