sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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