Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize