We won't sleep together?
i don't like sucking hair
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
