Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I know her cup size but not her name....
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
