Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
