Can i not drive my cunt home
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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