im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
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We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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