no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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