If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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