How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
