Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
