puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
