It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
