are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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