she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize