Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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