we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
