thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You're like the curious george of whores
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
