i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
