im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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