You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize