I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Couch. On fire.
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