if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
