I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Houston, we have a blender
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Still dying that you shit outside
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
