i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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