i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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