plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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