I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
