last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize