so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
