I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize