if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
