btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
