this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
