I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
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I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
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but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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