I want to walk on stilts...naked
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
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