is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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