just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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