For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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