next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
