I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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