It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's never too late to be topless.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
