I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
