That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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