Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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