I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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