I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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