First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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